I meet Super Mom!!!

  The day after our Feedback appointment, I began calling the 4 known ABA therapists in our area. Only one answered and told me she was full but may have an opening in December. December?? We needed to get this ball rolling before another year of school! The others I contacted still haven't returned my calls/email. I started Googling ABA therapists in our area and was hooked up with Families Helping Families. If ever you're in a charitable mood and looking for a good cause, this should be your first stop. Anywho, I started receiving emails from someone I only know as "SuperSue". She put me on her distribution list and I began receiving emails about Autism events and ABA therapists looking to help. There was only one ABA therapist who seemed qualified enough to meet my standards. Again, I don't know much about ABA or Autism at this point, but she was educated and had Autism experience. I called her and we discussed Finnan's needs. She came over to the house and met with him. We set up weekly sessions. One week when she came over, she mentioned that she had another friend that was similar to Finnan. One of the things we're working on with Finnan are his social skills. She asked if we'd like to get a social skills partnership going with her friend. We agreed. The next week, we went to her house and met her friend and his Mommy. This is how I met Super Mom. Super Mom was Finnan's new friend's Mommy! At that time I was still overwhelmed and intimidated by the information as well as the people I'd met thus far who had been given a similar diagnosis. Granted, most of them I'd met online in groups and chat rooms for parents of ASD kids, but there she was. Live and in person.  A Mom, just like me. So unintimidating and kind.Trying her best to do right by her son; boy has she. She invited me to her house for a meeting she was holding for ASD parents that night. The topic was "The Diet". Shrouded in mystery!  She's had her son on this diet for a few years and has had great success. I agreed to come over. She didn't seem crazy and I was up for anything. Again, I want to and will do whatever I can to help Finnan on this journey. We tried medicine, it didn't work. A diet seemed like another thing to try.
  I went to Super Mom's house around 6:30 that night. I was first to arrive, followed by another newbie to the Autism Support Group. Super Mom showed us a slide show she'd made chronicling her son's life. I watched and I cried like a baby. I didn't know anyone else in this room, but I'd just watched Finnan on her television. Except he had Red hair and a different name. Other than that, he was the same. I was on board! She began telling us about the GFCF diet- Gluten Free Casein Free. Ironically, Finnan had already been on a Casein Free diet as he had been diagnosed with a milk allergy around 18 months. Could this be the missing link? You see, some people digest Gluten and Casein differently for various reasons. In some people, it acts as an Opioid. Clouding their minds, making them cranky, moody, aggressive, angry, hyper, or almost like they are high. It can affect them verbally and in some cases, physically. Think about it like this; if you eat something that makes your stomach hurt, chances are you won't eat it again. But what if you weren't able to make that decision for yourself? Either you couldn't speak to tell someone how it made you feel or you just didn't realize it was the culprit. With everything we know about food -how it makes us feel, how we react to food, what it does to us outwardly, how it's made/processed, and even the cancer theories on food; why would you keep eating it?
  Needless to say, we started the diet the following week. It required a lengthy trip to Whole Foods familiarizing myself with ingredients and brands. I could not have done this without Super Mom's help though. I went armed with a folder of information she had given me at that first meeting. She made it an easy transition. As I said in my first post, Finnan is a creature of habit. He eats the same 4 things regularly. If I had bread, turkey, PB &J, chips and Pizza I was good to go. So far the hardest part of this diet has been the cost. But it is WORTH IT! Since being on the diet, Finnan has far fewer outbursts, improved pragmatically, his speech is better and he's using words in the correct order- semantics. He's not as aggressive as he was.  Everyday is better than the last. As an example; before we started this diet, if Finnan tantrumed he would throw anything in sight at anyone, hit himself as hard as he could in the head, pull tufts of hair out of his head without flinching, scream for hours. During our second week on the diet, there was an infraction. He ate pizza out of the trashcan, regular pizza. I didn't know he had eaten it until later. We happened to have a Neurology appointment that day and Finnan was very sensitive to lights and sounds and insisted on bringing his lunchbox to the office with us. I didn't realize the lunchbox was still at home!Crap! In the office, Finnan turned off every light and whispered. He began to ask for his lunchbox, which I didn't have. When I told him I forgot it, he tantrumed. He started hitting himself in the head as hard as he could and pulling out hair. I was beside myself, but remembered Super Mom said I had to give it a good 6 months to make sure it was or wasn't working. When the Neurologist walked in and saw this, she set us up for a 23 hour EEG in hospital. Great! Finnan has to put under general anesthesia for any procedure because he falls in that 5% 0f patients who have adverse reactions to sedatives. No people, we go all the way! It is horrific. Later on that afternoon, Finnan was still tantruming and started to throw things. He threw the Wii remote at our mantle and knocked everything off. Including a birds nest he'd made me out of Pine Needles and painted clay eggs. It fell off and everything fell out. Finnan ran to his room and I followed. Usually I'll hold him as long as I can and speak softly until he's so exhausted he can't even keep his head up. This time he hit his head, cried and said "Mommy, I need to calm down! Talk to me Mommy, talk to me!" He'd never asked for help before or even seemed to realize I was trying to calm him down by speaking softly and holding him. I put him in my lap and squeezed him tightly and started to whisper "Its OK, calm down, its OK, shhhhh, its OK." He looked up at me and said "Mommy, I broke you nest." he let out a big sob and said "I made that for you at school. I'm so sorry Mommy." Trying to hold back my own huge sob, I smiled and said "It's OK Finnan, I fixed it. Its not broken!" I didn't want to alarm him by sobbing and jumping up and down, but there it was. Progress!! He understood consequence. I threw something and as a result I broke something.
  One of the best things that has come from this diet so far has been Finnan telling us he loves us. Before, we would say "I love you Finnan." and he would mimic us. Say it with the exact inflection we would say it. Parrot-like. Now he says "I love you too Mommy." He's also begun telling us he loves us out of the blue and with hugs. I can't even tell you what that feels like. If you've never had your child tell you they love you on your own, you understand. Don't ever take it for granted. Listen to everything your child says with every ounce of attention you have. As I'm typing, I'm crying thinking of how much that means to me. It means everything. Not just from Finnan, but from all of my children. From everyone I know and love. Hearing it means so much more now. I hear it.