I've arrived!

  You know what really bugs me? When I am out in public alone with my children, one or all 3, and  people say "Bless your heart!", "You have you're hands full!", "You poor Mommy!" or they stare and give me the hairy eyeball. Really people? I may have mentioned this before, but I feel compelled to mention it again. When people make these kind of comments it or shoot looks my way, it infuriates me! My children are not something that "happened" to me. They are a gift. A blessing. They have bad days just as we do. They get tired and hungry and cranky. But they don't have filters because they are kids. They speak whatever is on their mind regardless of location or company. This is their time to speak freely and act as they are feeling. You were once a child too! Too bad a lot of us seem to have forgotten that.

  I have a child with Autism. When we're out in public he may not like the color of your shirt or the shape of your nose, and he'll let you know. He may point at you incessantly or yell as we pass you by in our buggy at the store. He may scream and fight himself as I stroll down they aisle totally oblivious to what's going on around me. But do not ever feel sorry for me or make comments about what must be too much for you to handle. My hands are full. Full of love and more joy than you could possibly imagine. I have children! It's amazing! Regardless of what you see in that moment, there are countless moments that you don't. Moments where my child is still and quiet laying in my arms. Moments where my child rolls on the floor laughing at a silly face I made or even the shape of my nose. Moments when he laughs and smiles in his sleep. The more recent moments when he walks up to me and tells me he loves me for no reason other than that is what he is feeling in that moment. The next time someone says "Poor Mommy!" I will say "Poor you! To not know the joy I have in my life." Do not comment on things which you do not know or understand.

  I am familiar with equality for women and the battle between stay at home Moms and working Mothers. I've been on both ends of this discussion. I had an amazing career with excitement. I made many long trips and traveled to exotic places and they always lead to another long trip and another amazing place. It didn't end. It never would have. When I lost my job, I finally arrived to the place I'd been headed my whole life. Being a Mom. I didn't realize it until recently. Who would be taking Finnan to all of his appointments if I were still working? I had been taking him to all of them while I was still working and either felt guilty for not being in the office, in that meeting or on that trip; or felt guilty for not being home while I was in the office playing catch up from missing the hours or days spent at doctors offices. This was God's plan for me. He would not give me more than I could handle.

 I'm often told not to define myself as just a Mom. Not to introduce myself as "Finnan's Mommy" but rather by my name. But what's wrong with being Finnan's Mommy? It is an honor and a blessing to call myself as such.  This is my life. This is where I've been headed.  I AM FINNAN'S MOMMY. I AM TALLULAH'S MOMMY. I AM MEABH'S MOMMY. How lucky am I?!!!!